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The Longer You Linger

 

13th September 2013

Padlock and ChainLingering too long in a place you don’t belong anymore can keep you a prisoner forever.

 

How often do you find yourself looking to the past? The good old days of yore (what does that actually mean?) are gone and the memory is a gift (or a curse) but it’s so not a place for you to hide in or dwell.

 

I was working with a group recently, exploring the idea of unlocking and achieving their potential with regards to any given subject in their lives and I specifically used a tool of finding out where in time they were in relation to that subject. One of the ladies had an issue with one of her grown up children. It seemed they had a very strained relationship (if you could call it a relationship at all). I asked her to tell me what her wishes were for the relationship and she was moved to say she wished for reconciliation though she didn’t expect it to occur. When we explored where she was in time or in other words, her ‘point of origin’ on the subject, she instantly went back to an incident that took place 13 years ago when she was in hospital after having life-saving surgery. She recounted the feud that had taken place between her child and her partner and the rift that had followed. Her tone had become angry and hurt and in an instant the un-forgiveness was apparent.

 

Her wish for reconciliation was being blocked by her inability to forgive and she couldn’t see it. She was living in a 13 year old prison of her own making with no obvious hope of escape.

 

The person you were yesterday no longer exists and you have the opportunity to reinvent yourself every day. It’s a brand new day today and though you may have made mistakes in the past, though others may have made mistakes in the past that have affected you, are you truly going to let those mistakes of yesterday dictate your potential for today, tomorrow and the rest of your life?

 

You paid the price already. Move on, let it go. Why would you want to keep poking the bruise to see if it still hurts? The pay-off is of course that it makes for a fabulous story later on.

 

Jo x

 

No Going Back

 

3rd September 2013

No U-turn signI’ve been thinking of late about how often we attempt to turn back time. Many of us return to the same destination for our summer vacation year after year, in hope of recreating the amazing adventure that we experienced the first time around, only to be disappointed that that level of excitement and wonder that we have firmly lodged in our memory didn’t quite come to pass this time around. There are those of us who return to jobs after a leave of absence only to find that the wheels have kept turning whilst we have been away and new people and new procedures have replaced the old ones and it just isn’t the same any more. There are even those of us who return to old relationships trying to rekindle the initial spark and the romance of yester-year by playing the old songs and dancing the old dances but the truth is, there is no going back, ever.

 

In the time between you leaving and coming to this point, life has been happening and life has a habit of leaving scars, scars on landscapes, on systems and most of all on human hearts and minds. Those scars are not damage as you might think, they are in fact experience and experience changes everything because it brings with it expectation.

 

Expectation is a mind killer if it is not kept in check because it doesn’t leave room for new experience. You come with an agenda and a preference of what you think something, somewhere or someone should be and as a result of that you are already subconsciously comparing your experience to the last time around. The food doesn’t taste the same – that’s because its different food… the scenery has changed – that’s because nature keeps growing and humans keep building and destroying… your companion isn’t as much fun – that’s because they have grown and their experience isn’t living up to their memory either.

 

 

I’m not telling you here that you shouldn’t go back to the Italian Hills this time around, I’m just telling you that they will be different. Your mind has to be open to a new adventure and to a new set of circumstances. I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t go back to your old firm when they offer you more money, I’m just telling you not to assume that it will be a doddle getting back into the mix. I’m not telling you that you can’t start dating an old flame again, I’m merely expressing that your old flame is not the same person you once knew and that you can’t do the same things and expect it all to go the same way. Nothing, I repeat nothing, stays the same – even if it’s only the wind direction that has changed, that means everything has changed. There is no going back.

 

Take heart, the good news is that it’s all an adventure waiting to unfold and no matter what you repeat it will have a whole new set of lessons inherent in the mix that you can create new memories with and new scars! That last slice of pizza never tastes the same in the morning does it? That’s because though it’s the same pizza, its cold now; the day is different; your taste buds have different needs; your body is rested; maybe you are more hydrated or dehydrated; you might be hung-over; perhaps you’ve just brushed your teeth and it tastes like toothpaste?… and the list of differences could go on but I’ll stop now…

 

So you see, even going backwards is going forwards in this crazy universe. Do it again if you want to (if you feel you need to), but do it with your eyes open to new possibilities, resist making comparisons and be ready for a surprise, remain present, expect the unexpected and you will never be disappointed.

 

Jo x

Emergency

 

27th August 2013

The Cave MouthIt’s a weird word really isn’t it? The word emergence means to come out, so how come if we add a “y” it suddenly becomes panic stations? Is it because that's what we start asking ourselves: why?

 

The energy of the moment is preparatory, bringing us ever closer to a state of emergence and as such we are feeling an ever greater sense of emergency the closer we get. It’s all based on the fear of the unknown, what will greet us when we finally arrive and where exactly is it that we are arriving? What will we have to give up when we get there or along the way and what if we don’t like it? For me personally I have more of an issue with standing still and waiting, feeling like I’m stagnating is my least favourite thing to do and the condition I push hardest against. Still a fear based reaction it’s about controlling the timing and speed of emergence so that I can cope with any emergency that may arise on my terms.

 

I have been faced with lots of my own history this week again, bumping into people from the past and recognising those who have moved on and let go and those who are still holding on for dear life and in the process I have recognised just how much has changed for me in the last few years and also, how much I like it where I am. There are times when it all feels too hard and I wonder whether I should go back to how it used to be, when I had a ‘real job,’ and a proverbial safety net, when there was always a bigger fish calling the shots in my working life, my social life, my friendships and relationships, but then I realise that I love being free and while ever I remember that God is my only boss and He/She gives me a free reign to build it as big as I want and demolish it whenever I want, to reshape it however I see fit and what’s more, that I truly do create my own emergencies, why would anyone go back?

 

The time of the coming emergence is promoting unrest around the world and as a result the world is displaying fear based power grabbing attempts to maintain the status quo where one big fish will always try to supress another in order to feel safe. As we walk to the end of this tunnel and step out into the light, beyond the known boundaries and parameters into an unknown new adventure, remember that God is your only boss (whatever you choose to call Him/Her) and He will let you create the world beyond the mouth of the cave exactly as you see fit, war or peace, love or hatred. So walk don’t run, exit in an orderly fashion and then ask: where’s the emergency?

 

Jo x

Programmed Response

 

15th August 2013

On the PhoneWhen we are born, we come into the world with a clean slate so to speak, with nothing but instinct and the ability to learn. Over time we adapt to our environment and begin to be programmed by the people and events around us as we experience various stimuli and are buffeted by the laws of cause and effect. For example, a baby cries and mum brings a bottle or picks him or her up. As we grow we continue to learn these programmed responses to the point where you do them automatically without thinking about it, they literally become habits, (if I press this button the kettle boils)…

 

When you start down the path of conscious development you often come face to face with lots of your programmed responses and are then challenged to change them but before you can change them you need to understand which ones are good and which ones are bad. Now before you start having a nervous breakdown about the difference between good and bad, yin and yang, positive and negative; consider the old adage that one man’s poison is another man’s pleasure. It is all about preference and what is not right for you may be exactly what someone else needs.

 

Now I have a programmed response which has been instilled in me since the first time I was allowed to be separated from my mum as a child, “wherever you are, whatever you are doing, call home and let me know you are safe!” Now I’ve lived away from home for many years but I speak to my mum every day, without fail, (unless she has been pre-warned that there will be no phones or mobile reception and the next time I call her will be at such and such a time). That same programmed response extends to other members of my tribe now, I communicate with them all the time it’s a way of saying “the pack is all safe now I can carry on.” I remember that whilst my Nan (mum’s mum) was alive, that mum called her every day or vice versa and I really hope that if and when I have kids of my own they will call home every day too. Communication is a fundamental part of building and maintaining relationships and it doesn’t even have to be for any other reason than to say hello, it means that you are thinking about someone you care about and are open hearted enough to let them know.

 

For many this may seem a bit weird or even restrictive but for me it’s normal and healthy and allows me to keep connected to those that I love even just for as long as it takes to say “I love you”. It also has the added benefit of if I ever get lost somewhere on a mountain trail it won’t be long before someone misses me and sends help!

 

As you walk your path, if you bump up against someone who believes that one of your programmed responses is bad or distasteful or they see it as in some way negative or obsessive, don’t automatically assume they are right and you are wrong. It might not work for them but if it works for you and makes you happy, why change it?

 

Now, I was watching a TV Show last night where a guy was obsessively eating the foam out of the inside of his sofa cushions… if that is your programmed response, trust me, you need help!

 

Now ask me sometime about why I’m obsessed with washing my hands… Definitely a programmed response but is it OCD or a genuine reason? (Answers on a postcard please to those of you that know me well enough to have the answer to that).

 

Jo x

Lies and Misunderstandings

 

6th August 2013

Power of WordsI was doing the weekly shop in my local supermarket the other day when I was suddenly distracted by the low booming voice of a man insisting to two of his young sons “I want never gets!”

 

I was immediately reminded of the years as a child when I was subjected to this very same statement. I remember hearing it from my mum, my nan, my aunty… in fact pretty much every female member of my family.

 

It made me stop and smile for a moment as I considered whether this complete stranger had any concept of the law of attraction at all and whether I should tell him that the truth was that the kids could have absolutely anything at all that they wanted and that his statement (that he was repeating as the kids were having none of it) was in fact counter-productive and completely untrue. So much so in fact that it could have repercussions on their success as adults.

 

This man was teaching his children “lack mentality” or “poverty consciousness” and he had no idea of the damage he was instilling in his children.

 

Remembering my past encounters with this phrase I was wondering if it was a Yorkshire thing or if it was a rampant untruth that we have been spouting for centuries? I decided not to attempt to correct him as it would have confused him tremendously and instead I opted to say a silent prayer for the children to find out quickly just how false the statement was and perhaps to become millionaire entrepreneurs using and teaching the Law of Attraction in spite of dad’s clumsy misinformed well intentioned ramblings.

 

Let’s hope they don’t perpetuate the cycle and instead become inspirers for the next generation.

 

It’s important to recognise the power of words before we inflict them on others… words are magic spells and can be used as weapons or as healing balms – to empower or disempower…

 

Choose yours with care and empower someone today (otherwise better to remain silent).

 

Jo x

Diamond Collection

 

29th July 2013

Sparkling DiamondI wanted to share with you a powerful self-healing visualisation that I use when I’m in any physical pain as I seem to be coming across many of you at the moment who are suffering in one form or another. Instead of reaching straight for the painkillers first ask yourself what the pain is in response to. The body is trying to tell you something and giving it painkillers is a bit like telling a screaming child to shut up without exploring the possibility that actually the child may require some form of help.

 

To do this find a comfy position in which to explore the problem (not always easy when you are in agony, I know). Next take some deep breaths and allow your attention to be drawn to the point of the pain. It might appear at first that, say your whole leg is hurting and you can’t quite put your finger on the problem but persevere. As you approach the area you may feel the pain getting even more intense to that point where you aren’t sure you can stand it and you are tempted to withdraw your attention  and find anything to take your mind off it, but please don’t. Keep going right to the heart of the pain and you may find that it is just one nerve or very small cluster of nerves that are the ‘screamers’. At this point visualise a cut, polished diamond with its cold sharp edges rubbing up against the nerves and causing the discomfort. Now for the self-surgery, in your minds-eye, very carefully remove the diamond with some imaginary tweezers and place it in a dish by the side of you. (If you find multiple diamonds then repeat the process as many times as is necessary). Next you will need to remove any gritty ‘diamond dust’ and you can do this by imagining a small hosepipe running cool clear water over the area. When the area is clear of irritation, apply a generous coating of white light balm and visualise sealing the area.

 

Now it’s time to inspect the diamonds. Pick up each in turn and under a microscope gaze into the centre of the diamond. What picture do you see? Are there any flaws or inclusions in the gem? Everything you learn from the diamond with help stop others forming in the same area but will also build up a treasure chest of shiny gems (wisdom) for your collection. If you are really good at this collection process before you know it you will be ‘filthy rich and pain free!’

 

Jo x